So I took a wrong turn...

*please understand that I am just pouring out my heart here and trying so hard not to be judgmental...I just can not get this event out of my head and I felt like it would help if I just blurted it all out!

Yesterday was a normal Thursday. The boys spent the day with my father in law and were playing at The Monkey House when I got off work. Since I had an hour to kill, I thought I'd do my last minute Easter basket shopping and decided to include Jamie. On the way to his office, I somehow managed to take a wrong turn. I am 30 weeks pregnant, exhausted, and probably just wasn't paying attention like I should have been. He has worked at the same building for about 8 years and I've visited there a million times and never missed my turn.

God made me miss that turn.

Tears are flooding my eyes even as I'm typing this, because what happened next truly broke my heart and made me so emotional.

I am so THANKFUL that I got lost.

My pregnant brain couldn't decide which street to take and that's when I saw her.

She couldn't have been any older than Jonah. And she was alone. On a busy street.

My mind began to race, as I frantically looked around to find an adult. Who did she belong to? Then I saw another little one, maybe 4 years old. It must be her sister. She was across the street chasing two dogs.

I slowly pulled over and decided I had to call 911. When the dispatcher picked up, I got out of my car and began walking towards her.

I'll never forget watching her in those moments. The yellow car certainly didn't see her and as I screamed for her to "Get back!" she took one step backwards into the ditch. Another woman, walking with her son, met me on the street and we got to her just as the other little girl was crossing the street with the dogs.

I stayed on the phone with the dispatcher and the other woman scooped up the little girl and began asking her where she belonged. A man next door, who did not speak English, began pointing to the house in front of us. We waited in the yard, for what seemed like an eternity, after knocking at the door.. and finally another child emerged. He didn't know if any adult was home or not. Several minutes later a very young woman, holding a tiny infant, came running out to the yard. She said she had been in the back feeding the baby and had no idea that the girls were outside.

I almost cried in front of her when she yelled at them for opening the gate.

She rushed the kids inside, closed the door and shades.
She sent a man out to wait on the cops.

I stayed until the policeman arrived. I so badly wanted to get out and interrogate the man. To scream, "Where were you??!!" The mom in me needed to know that those babies would be safe. But I won't get that peace. And it's not just those babies, it's all the kids in similar situations. My heart breaks for them. For the kids that are just a nuisance to their parents. The unwanted children. The kids that are neglected. I'm pregnant and very emotional, but this just hit me so hard. I have so many friends that have struggled with infertility and it just doesn't seem right.

It's making me take a closer look at how often I ignore Noah and Jonah. I've been in that mother's shoes. Even if it's not the same situation, and don't get me wrong, my kids have never been in a dangerous situation like that; but when Noah has told me the same one liner a thousand times and I just brush him off, or tell him to please stop talking about Ben 10!  Or when I get onto Jonah for singing loudly in the car because I'm on the phone or I just cannot handle hearing "I can't fly, I can't fly, I can't fly" on repeat anymore! Just being honest. Kids can really really really try our patience. I joke all the time that God gave me boys because he knew I needed to learn patience. But I don't want to ignore my kids, or just be bystander. I want to always be present, physically and emotionally.

I thanked the policeman and drove away, shaking. It took everything in me to not cry until I reached Jamie's office and then the floodgates opened. Poor Jamie and his bosses wife, Becky, could barely get the whole story out of me I was such a mess. Becky put it perfectly though when I said I just didn't care about going to get Easter basket goodies. She said, "You were on a divine appointment."And that was so much more important!

I will likely never know what came of that incident. But I can hold my little guys closer and let them know that their mommy is here and I'm always watching, always listening.

Interview With a 4 Year Old

This morning, Noah and I spent a little time together at the kitchen table, with no distractions, and I asked him {mostly} the same questions that I asked Jonah yesterday. Here are his answers :)

What's your favorite drink? chocolate milk! and you can write Sprite and Orange Crush too, cause I like those too.
What's your favorite color? All of them!
But, really what is your most favorite? yellow
What does daddy do at work? uhhhh... work. I don't know, he works. He does a meeting.
What does mommy do for work? You make money. How? By at work. You tell us to clean up the living room sometimes too.
Who loves you? momma, and the baby loves me too and I love the baby {referring to Isaiah - he then hugged and kissed my belly} and Gama and I love you momma - you got a baby in your tummy. He won't be too long, just 7 weeks! {we were talking about time at breakfast and I said Isaiah would arrive in about 2 months - not sure where he got 7 weeks}

What do you like to play with? Buzz Lightyear, Power Rangers, Ben 10
What will it be like when Isaiah is born? I'll teach him how to cross his eyes like this! {demonstrates how he crosses his eyes and then starts singing the Ben 10 theme song}
When you grow up big like daddy, what will you do all day? I will play, and work at McDonald's - just the pretend one at Nana and Papa's house. That's how I will make money. And I still wanna be a preacher like PaPa.

What will your brother do when he is big? Jonah will do workin'. He will work at McDonald's too, real work.
What makes you so happy? like Buzz Lightyear - uh huh, when I watch Buzz Lightyear. And napkins! and Ben 10! {Laughing now, he begins repeating napkins, napkins, napkins..then it turns into "I like poop" over and over again with a huge smile on his face!}
What is your favorite book? Spiderman, We really have it mom, in Jonah's bedroom.
What's your favorite movie? Ben 10, Spiderman {he begins to explain how Ben 10 changes into SpiderMonkey, then he hugs my belly and wants to feel Isaiah kick..then "can I have some choc-choc now?"}
What's your favorite song? TobyMac! Liz, you know who's at church and watches us sometimes, she has TobyMac, but only the "du nu nun nu nu..song"
You mean 'Tonight'? ya, but I like "I wanna Mac, I need a Mac Daddy" song best.
What's your favorite bedtime song? the Lord one, you know, I praise the Lord song. Can you 'member that one? and 'Honor Your Father and Your Muber' and "I hear the rolling thunder..." {He's trying to recall "How Great Thou Art" and tells me he likes that one because I sing it to him}
Who is your best friend? Alyssa, and Jeremiah
What's your favorite food? Chicken nuggets, fries, and ranch!
Who is the coolest person on Earth? daddy! and baby Isaiah {he kisses my tummy again!}
Can you count to 10? one, two, free, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!
How high can you count? {he counts from 1-28 skipping only 16 and 20}
Who is your favorite Bible character we have learned about this year? Abraham, because Sarah laughed!
Why did she laugh? Because her was too old to have a baby, but her did have a baby! I like that story! and I like Power Ranger stories...only I can do Power Ranger stories, Gama can do Farrah stories. {He begins to tell me a Power Ranger story and what color P.R. each person in the family was. And Farrah is a character my mom made up and they make up stories about her all the time!}
Where's your favorite place to spend the night? camping out - at church camp!

Noah is 4 years and 5 months old. He is such a big kid!! He will start a Pre-K program in September and we have been doing a very relaxed version of what I call "homeschool preschool" a few days a week. He is so smart and already knows so much! He is memorizing verses each week to go along with a letter of the alphabet..this past week we have been on G "God is Love" 1 John 4:8.

He has been so excited about starting T-Ball this year and when we got dressed yesterday to head to practice, he asked if his cleats were the new ones that would make him run faster. I said "Sure!" and he said, "Thank you so much mommy for buying these for me!" He apparently didn't realize that they were the same ones he had played soccer in! When we got to the field he told Jamie and I that he wasn't gonna give up this year! He wasn't gonna cry, he was gonna keep trying!!

He is the sweetest, most sensitive little guy. He gets his feelings hurt very easily. He loves to ask about Isaiah and kiss my tummy and hug me and tell me he loves me about 1000 times a day. He will always give sugars to the whole family before we leave. He loves his brother, even though he gets annoyed with him a lot!

He is a great helper!! It might take him a little while - both boys have learned "I'll be there in a minute"- but once he gets focused he can get a lot done! He is very organized!! Part of cleaning up his cars always involves putting them into 2 boxes - one box is the one he likes and the other box is ones his brother can play with!

He has an amazing memory - especially for stories, songs, and action figures. He is great at explaining things to Jonah and loves to be "in charge" of his "bruber" He is a non stop talker and loves to be silly. He really likes to make people laugh!

I love my big kid!

Interview With a 2 Year Old

My sweet friend Emily recently posted an interview that she did with her precious son, Ian. He was just turning 2 and his answers were so sincere and sweet! You can find her interview here! So I thought this might be fun to try with the boys. I was able to coax bribe sweet talk Jonah into participating yesterday when he stumbled into the kitchen after nap time :) That's when he is at his sweetest and super cuddly :) He promptly asked for "milllyykkk" and we sat at the table with a box of colors and a letter recognition game; I had my notebook and a list of questions! {bold is me talking}

Jonah, what's your favorite drink? I can't know...
Well, do you like choc-choc, sprite, juice, milk, water? milk
Just plain milk? {He LOVES chocolate milk} uh huh!
What's your favorite color? orange!
What does daddy do at work? work - ummm {he looks up with his eyes closed and says ummm for at least a minute} he go to work
What does mommy do? I don't know, when you come back I'm gonna see you! {referring to the one day a week when I work outside the home as a dental hygienist} :)
Who loves you? daddy and mom!
Anyone else? no...I want my iPad now.
{I may have bribed him with the iPad if he would finish answering all my questions}
What do you like to play? a toy - let me show you, come with me mom! my guitar! It's mine! Where is Tigger? huh?! I put him somewhere!  {he begins throwing the pillows off the couch and eventually goes to his room where Tigger is laying on the floor} He dropped!
When you grow up big like daddy what will you do all day? i don't know...i'll want a toy...I not go to work, I not going to. I need a number.
You mean a letter? {he got distracted by the letter game we had on the table and was trying to find where the A should go}
What will brother do all day? I don't know...
What makes you so happy? so happy?!? {with a huge smile on his face and his eyes closed he begins laughing and humming a made up melody} I like a toy! Christmas! ummmm Santa!
What is your favorite book? The Bible! and a book! a Truck [book] and the Bible! and THE BIBLE! {he literally looked at my writing to make sure I wrote down Bible!}
What is your favorite movie? Peter Pan Returns {an episode of Jake and The Neverland Pirates}
What is your favorite song? he begins to sing "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name"
Who is your best friend? bubba!! bubba, where are you? I don't know - he hide! {noah was still napping}
What is your favorite food to eat? chicken!
From where? Ack-donald's {McDonald's} Papa took me there and I eat breakfast! Nana nana boo boo, you can't see me! {hiding behind my chair! then he spots a toy on the floor that he "lost" during breakfast} There's my ducky! I drop him when I went to get it and I just got it now!
Who is the coolest person on Earth? daddy and mom and dad and mom....{he repeated it several times - be still my heart!}
How can you count to ten? ...seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, fir-teen, five-teen, four-teen, fir-teen, five-teen
Okay, but how do we count just to ten? A! B! C! D! huh? {and then he just busts up laughing!}

Jonah is 2 years and 8 months old - he will turn 3 on July 8th. He is such a sweet boy! He really thinks he is a big kid just like "bubba" - and has almost mastered the art of potty training! He loves to help me around the house and he loves Noah so much! He is really excited about being a big brother and loves to talk to Isaiah.

He is definitely different from Noah - he loves stuffed animals, he could care less about learning his colors/shapes, he can throw the fakest temper tantrum, and he has no fear! He is a little daredevil and always very mischievous! But when he laughs and smiles he just melts your heart! He knows he can get his way if he turns on the "charm" - "But I want it" is a common phrase heard from him...accompanied with a very pitiful looking sad face! He started something we call "lovin' sugars" which is where he puts both hands on our cheeks and pulls us in for a kiss...but lately he has been saying, "Hug only! No sugars!" Every now and then he will sneak in a lovin sugar at bedtime :)

He loves music! He is constantly making up songs and singing about things we are doing. He always has a song stuck in his head and he loves to pick out the songs we sing at bedtime. I will usually sing 3 or 4 songs, but hen he has to sing a few by himself too! His favorites right now are "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,""Jesus Loves Me" "Don't Wash My Blankie""How Great Thou Art" and several more...

He loves all things trains and big trucks! He is obsessed with trash trucks right now! He always wants to stop and watch them pick up the trash cans!

I could go on and on. He is such a special little boy! Thanks Em for the fun idea of interviewing him!! :) can't wait to hear what his answers would be like in another year!