*please understand that I am just pouring out my heart here and trying so hard not to be judgmental...I just can not get this event out of my head and I felt like it would help if I just blurted it all out!
Yesterday was a normal Thursday. The boys spent the day with my father in law and were playing at The Monkey House when I got off work. Since I had an hour to kill, I thought I'd do my last minute Easter basket shopping and decided to include Jamie. On the way to his office, I somehow managed to take a wrong turn. I am 30 weeks pregnant, exhausted, and probably just wasn't paying attention like I should have been. He has worked at the same building for about 8 years and I've visited there a million times and never missed my turn.
God made me miss that turn.
Tears are flooding my eyes even as I'm typing this, because what happened next truly broke my heart and made me so emotional.
I am so THANKFUL that I got lost.
My pregnant brain couldn't decide which street to take and that's when I saw her.
She couldn't have been any older than Jonah. And she was alone. On a busy street.
My mind began to race, as I frantically looked around to find an adult. Who did she belong to? Then I saw another little one, maybe 4 years old. It must be her sister. She was across the street chasing two dogs.
I slowly pulled over and decided I had to call 911. When the dispatcher picked up, I got out of my car and began walking towards her.
I'll never forget watching her in those moments. The yellow car certainly didn't see her and as I screamed for her to "Get back!" she took one step backwards into the ditch. Another woman, walking with her son, met me on the street and we got to her just as the other little girl was crossing the street with the dogs.
I stayed on the phone with the dispatcher and the other woman scooped up the little girl and began asking her where she belonged. A man next door, who did not speak English, began pointing to the house in front of us. We waited in the yard, for what seemed like an eternity, after knocking at the door.. and finally another child emerged. He didn't know if any adult was home or not. Several minutes later a very young woman, holding a tiny infant, came running out to the yard. She said she had been in the back feeding the baby and had no idea that the girls were outside.
I almost cried in front of her when she yelled at them for opening the gate.
She rushed the kids inside, closed the door and shades.
She sent a man out to wait on the cops.
I stayed until the policeman arrived. I so badly wanted to get out and interrogate the man. To scream, "Where were you??!!" The mom in me needed to know that those babies would be safe. But I won't get that peace. And it's not just those babies, it's all the kids in similar situations. My heart breaks for them. For the kids that are just a nuisance to their parents. The unwanted children. The kids that are neglected. I'm pregnant and very emotional, but this just hit me so hard. I have so many friends that have struggled with infertility and it just doesn't seem right.
It's making me take a closer look at how often I ignore Noah and Jonah. I've been in that mother's shoes. Even if it's not the same situation, and don't get me wrong, my kids have never been in a dangerous situation like that; but when Noah has told me the same one liner a thousand times and I just brush him off, or tell him to please stop talking about Ben 10! Or when I get onto Jonah for singing loudly in the car because I'm on the phone or I just cannot handle hearing "I can't fly, I can't fly, I can't fly" on repeat anymore! Just being honest. Kids can really really really try our patience. I joke all the time that God gave me boys because he knew I needed to learn patience. But I don't want to ignore my kids, or just be bystander. I want to always be present, physically and emotionally.
I thanked the policeman and drove away, shaking. It took everything in me to not cry until I reached Jamie's office and then the floodgates opened. Poor Jamie and his bosses wife, Becky, could barely get the whole story out of me I was such a mess. Becky put it perfectly though when I said I just didn't care about going to get Easter basket goodies. She said, "You were on a divine appointment."And that was so much more important!
I will likely never know what came of that incident. But I can hold my little guys closer and let them know that their mommy is here and I'm always watching, always listening.